60+ Funny Valentine Quotes & Messages | Greetings Island (2024)

Celebrate the humor unique to you and your favorite Valentine with a card that hits the sweet spot of your shared laughter. From punny to funny to LOL, via text, email, or print, sending Valentines is a win-win move. And we’ve collected messages and quotes that might be the words that speak for you and your funny bone, words that say, “I love how we laugh together!”

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30 Valentines messages
30 valentine quotes

Easy DIY valentine’s day cards

Create beautiful valentine’s day cards with our easy-to-use editor!

Valentine’s day cards

Easy DIY valentine’s day cards

Create beautiful valentine’s day cards with our easy-to-use editor!

Valentine’s day cards

Ha-Ha-Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love can be serious or seriously funny! If laughter is the love language between you and a special someone or friend or grandma, a Valentine with a sense of humor might be the perfect one. Keep a few things in mind as you choose messages for the people who love to laugh with you.

  • A personal touch adds connection to your Valentine. Is there a message that echoes a conversation or event that made it into the Hilarious Hall of Fame? Great choice! Or add a sentence or two of your own that does the job.
  • What kind of humor makes both of you laugh? Is there a type of humor this person would find offensive or just groan-worthy? Avoid that.
  • Make the message match the relationship. A co-worker you know only at work who shares your love of jokes might appreciate a Valentine with a little distance built in. Which your Significant Other definitely Would. Not.

In minutes, you can send smiles and chuckles and outright guffaws that warm the hearts of those you love a little or a lot. Valentines are easy to scatter on the winds of friendship and love and family affection via technology, snail mail, or a truly-old-school hand delivery. Who gets one first?

30 Funny Valentine Messages

What does your heart want to say? We have suggestions, or maybe our words will prime the pump of your own well of words. Have a look!

  • Unlike the toilet paper, my love for you will never run out. Happy Valentine’s Day Forever!
  • Will you say that you’ll be mine? Will you be my Valentine? My hopeful guess is a great big hug with the sweetest, “Yes!”
  • Happy Valentine’s Day to my huggy bear from your kissy face. Love you!
  • I love you a little s’more every day. You are lip-smackin’ sweetness, Valentine!
  • You stole a pizza my heart! You saucy thing.
  • Wishing you a Valentine’s Day you’ll love! So, candy, candy, candy, candy? Happy Heart Day, Skyler!
  • On Valentine’s Day, it can be difficult to be alone, but it helps to fortify yourself with chocolate,the remote, and a vivid memory of your worst date. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • I donut know what I’d do without you. I donut want to know. Love you, Sweetie!
  • Valentine, I pick you. Every single day. Love, Riley
  • Orange you glad we met? Your sweet squeezes weaken my kneeses!
  • I wish you a beary Happy Valentines… With all my huggy heart!
  • Ewe woolly stole my heart. And it’s shear delight, Babe!
  • Grandma, your hugs are the best! Homemade, on the spot. Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, Grandma!
  • May all the love you’ve thrown out there come back to smack you in the nicest way. Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom!
  • Be my Boo. Or I’ll be Boo-Hoo! Be mine, Valentine?
  • Wishing you a Valentine’s Day that’ll make you wag your tail! If you had one.
  • Pudgy little baby child with a bow and arrow? No one sees that coming.
  • Good shot, Cupid, good shot. Love you, Valentine!
  • What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine? A Valen-tiny!
  • Have a HUGELY Happy Valentine’s Day, Cameron!
  • You shower me with love, Valentine. My favorite weather! Love, Alex
  • I love you more than… more than… It would appear I love you more.
  • Friends who love you, friends who support you… these are the true Valentines.
    Also, I’m single this year.
  • Some people make your heart go pitter-patter. You make mine dance! Best. Valentine. Ever.
  • You’re the glaze to my donut, the sweet to my heart! Love you, Valentine!
  • Mr. Walker, you’re wished a fun-filled day, wondering who sent you this Valentine! Thanks for teaching your heart out for us!
  • If this Valentine could talk, it would say, “Get me out of this envelope!” And then it would say, “Grandma loves you!” Happy Valentine’s Day, Sammy!
  • Valentine, I’d compare you to the most exclusive wines and caviars, but I don’t like those.
  • You’re more amazing than sweet tea and Moon Pies. Love you, Babe!
  • Sending you 100% natural, organic love, Valentine! Locally-sourced hugs and kisses to follow.
  • Zoom in. Hold. There. Keep holding…keep holding… Forever is good.
  • I was gonna stuff all my love for you into your Valentine. But it was kinda like trying to get into your skinny jeans the day after Thanksgiving. Happy Valentine’s Day, Peyton!
  • Valentine, if you’ll be mine, my heart will ring with music! If we eat Mexican, it will be accompanied by a tooting section.

30 Funny Valentine Quotes

“Unknown” is famously productive when it comes to quotes, but some pretty famous people have also contributed humorous remarks about true love to the Internet archives. Which ones make you smile?

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.”

60+ Funny Valentine Quotes & Messages | Greetings Island (10)

It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

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Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

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Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

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I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.

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You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.

I understand Valentine’s Day, as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow, and you fall in love.

The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.

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Love is an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

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True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.

I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you.

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Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.

The four most important words in any marriage — I’ll do the dishes.

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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

60+ Funny Valentine Quotes & Messages | Greetings Island (19)

I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Especially when I’m all alone with you!

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That is your common sense leaving your body.

Valentine’s Day Cards

Greetings Island has a wide range of breathtaking cards and invitations for every occasion, so make sure you check out our selection to get inspired for your next event.

60+ Funny Valentine Quotes & Messages | Greetings Island (20)
60+ Funny Valentine Quotes & Messages | Greetings Island (2024)

FAQs

What is funny Valentine catchphrase? ›

Valentine's catchphrase "Dojyaaa~~n!" literally means "Tada!" in Japanese. The scene during which Funny receives his dead father's handkerchief appears to reference the 1994 film Pulp Fiction. In the movie, a young Butch and his mother are visited by Vietnam veteran Captain Koons, who fought with Butch's father.

What is the oldest Valentine greeting? ›

The earliest surviving card was from frenchman Charles the Duke of Orleans. Imprisoned in the Tower of London in 1415 he wrote the following to his wife: “Je suis desja d'amour tanné Ma tres doulce Valentinée.” Which translates to: “I am already sick of love, my very gentle Valentine”.

What is a beautiful quote for Valentine? ›

I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Right from the start, you stole my heart. To me, you are perfect.

What are popular Valentine words? ›

Fall In Love With 14 Captivating Valentine's Day Words
  • cupid. A cupid is kind of like the official mascot of Valentine's Day. ...
  • star-crossed. People sometimes mistake the term star-crossed to mean that people are destined to be together. ...
  • admirer. ...
  • smitten. ...
  • unrequited. ...
  • woo. ...
  • lovebirds. ...
  • betrothed.
Feb 14, 2024

What are 3 Valentine quotes? ›

SIMPLE VALENTINE'S MESSAGES

My heart will always belong to you. I love you to the moon and back. The definition of love – being with you.

What is funny Valentine's motivation? ›

Valentine has also demonstrated that he is an absolute patriot to his country, as his motive to get the Corpse parts is deflect any and all misfortune in the United States to a different spot in the world and ensure that the United States is the greatest country on Earth.

What is a simple sentence for Valentine's Day? ›

Happy Valentine's Day! I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate you so much! Valentine's Day is all about love, so I'm sending some of mine to you. Valentine's Day is as good a time as any to remind my best friend of how much I love [her/him].

What is the oldest Valentines day poem? ›

But his 700-line poem “Parlement of Foules” has the special distinction of being the first surviving record of a connection between Valentine's Day and romantic love. Chaucer probably composed the poem in 1381–82.

What is the old name for Valentines day? ›

At the end of the 5th century, Pope Gelasius I forbid the celebration of Lupercalia and is sometimes attributed with replacing it with St. Valentine's Day, but the true origin of the holiday is vague at best. Valentine's Day did not come to be celebrated as a day of romance until about the 14th century.

Who wrote the oldest Valentines day message? ›

The oldest known Valentine still exists today as a poem written by Charles Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting that was written in 1415 is part of the manuscript collection at the British Library in London.

What is the best message for Valentine's Day? ›

Short & Sweet Happy Valentine's Day Messages
  • Happy Valentine's Day to my ride or die.
  • My favorite love story is ours.
  • To the only person I would share my snacks with.
  • I love you the most.
  • We go together like hot sauce and everything.
  • I love you even when I'm hungry.
  • There's never a dull moment when I'm with you.
Feb 8, 2024

What is a good verse for Valentine's Day? ›

1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

What is a friendly quote for Valentine's Day? ›

Friends are medicine for a wounded heart, and vitamins for a hopeful soul.

What is Funny Valentine's stand? ›

With his Stand Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap/D4C, Funny Valentine can freely move between infinite alternate dimensions, given he has completely enclosed his body. In order to jump into another dimension, he must put himself in between two objects, being also able to carry other people with him.

What is said on Valentine's Day? ›

Cute Valentine's Day Wishes

You may hold my hand for a while, but you hold my heart forever. I love you more than coffee. Thank you for being mine. You make me feel like the heart-eye emoji.

What is the line up for Valentine's Day? ›

Starting on February 7th with Rose Day, followed by Propose Day, Chocolate Day, Teddy Day, Promise Day, Hug Day, Kiss Day and finally Valentine's Day on February 14th.

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